Ever since I started dating I’ve always had this rule, of always taking almost double the duration of the relationship to get over a relationship, and I would never, date before that. And honestly, I feel like for the most part this method has been so fruitful because it helped me truly take the time to understand, firstly what happened in the relationship, secondly to understand my role and why I played it in the relationship, where it came from and lastly how to move through this situation.
Healing plays an important role in our growth as souls having a human experience, it helps us gauge how far we are growing in our lives and the alchemy of our lives. We must remember that understanding that healing, like change, is an important part of our life’s evolution and we need to work on practicing how we view its presence in our lives.
Understanding why things happen is a big catalyst for healing and growth. These are some of the questions I ask myself and reflect on when going through a breakup or any kind of ‘ending’:
Understanding what went wrong
As a person, you need to avoid looking at yourself through the lens of your ego; that’s not how the ego works. Being human means making mistakes, and mistakes are indicators of growth, not failure.
In any relationship that ends, both parties have a role to play in its demise. Understanding, accepting, and acknowledging your role, will help you grow and understand yourself on a deeper level. In turn, you will be able to take responsibility for your part or role and give closure to the next party as well as yourself.
What role did I play? And why.
We all have traumas and as a result, some toxic traits we are not aware of, and a relationship does a great job of filtering these toxic traits up to the surface. Helping you have a look at these, dig deep, and understand where the root is. There is always a why to all the choices and actions we take, if those actions are negative, that means they’re rooted in trauma. Meditation and journaling are my top 2 favorite tools I use to uncover things that are buried deep.
Lastly, test your healing
I am saying all this to say there is a time for everything but do not close yourself off from love, because you feel like you’re not ready yet. Love with the right person will be gentle enough to allow you to continue to see the parts of you that still haven’t healed quite yet, and vice versa. Just always remember to reprimand your ego when it tries to take over where it doesn’t belong.
In this article, it is important that I share with you all how important healing is altogether, to understand that healing is ongoing and that after self-introspection and understanding, we continue to heal and grow through our next love connection until you find the one you want to share this amazing experience called life with forever.
One of the most challenging aspects of a healthy relationship is finding healing or continuing to heal. Understanding your self-worth and reminding yourself that you’re still worth getting the best can be an uphill battle. I have faced this very challenge and sometimes still do, and I would like to think I have found ways to cope and go through these set challenges. Of course, I am going to spill the tea.
Self-love affirmations
I know you may have been seeing this almost everywhere and have tried a couple of times to tap into this affirmations movement and it hasn’t really worked out that well for you, I understand. My advice to you my loves is, it all takes time and you need to be a little kinder to yourself, for these to work and to take effect comes with time and consistent work.
Affirmations work as a reprogramming method to change the way you either think or the way to perceive things and yourself. So this naturally will take time, it took you 3 years to perfect walking alone. So this may also take some considerable time.
Remember to be kinder to yourself.
Cord cutting meditation
I always make it a point to emphasize that we are spirits having a human experience, and this is because we need to always remember that we are not of this earth, but we are here to learn, expand, and grow. So it is ok to make mistakes, and we make soul connections with each other through our journey or alchemy on earth.
After a relationship it is important to cut soul ties because that is what you form in a relationship, those dreams that persist months to a year after the breakup, that seeing him/her in other people, that seeing his/her name almost everywhere or smelling her perfume. All these are an indication that this person’s presence/spirit still lingers in your energy or your aura.
Cord-cutting meditation is one of the best ways to help you cut the spiritual cords, I have attached the one I normally use a lot, I also share a lot of these guided meditations on my Instagram accounts. As mentioned these are guided and about 15-20mins long.
River cleanses are also a great way to cut spiritual cords.
Journaling
I have been journaling from as young as I can remember, my mom would always encourage me to write in a diary and she would tell me to just write about my day and how I felt, she would tell me to write about the things I can’t even tell her. I can’t say I understood what she was doing at first but as I got older it makes all the sense in the world, the world can get so busy and fast-paced that it is hard for you to connect to yourself and understand what you’re really going through vs absorbing all these energies throughout the day and sleeping with them and making up to doing the same the next day and the day after that.
You end up angry, irritable, and feeling energies, emotions, and feelings that aren’t yours. Topic for another day but can you imagine the stampede happening internally? Hectic.
Journaling helps you connect with your subconscious and to understand fully what you as a human are experiencing,
Communication
Communication is the best tool for a successful relationship and human beings as a whole, it helps with clarity, which helps in understanding which results in a peaceful life experience.
As a result of these simple and accessible tools, I have been able to manage my self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem in so many areas of my life. Over the past few years, I have seen amazing changes in my life and how I deal with certain situations. If I can help you guys in any way, I would be extremely grateful.
Chat soon!
Love Kea <3