As we get older, in life we seek different things; our priorities change and we focus more on the deeper meaning of life. All these create fears that cause us to want to control or want to control certain situations and aspects of our lives. Imagine how light your day-to-day life would be if you would just let go; of people’s behaviors and the need to control outcomes. I’d sure love to be in that vibe.
What if you let go and let God? Did your mind just race with thoughts of all the things that can go wrong?
In a sense, we all wish we had more control over our lives, and in a lot of ways, we do. Unfortunately, when we try to exert control over things we cannot control, things go awry. It takes so much energy to try to change what can’t be changed. But here’s the truth: you’re not in control. In fact, you’re in partnership with the Universe helping each other make our lives the best we can.
I’m on a journey to let go of control and put my energy into following my dreams and improving my skills. To live a happier and more peaceful life, I’ve discovered 5 practical ways to let go of control.
Step 1: Identify what you can control.
I always used to be so mad at myself for reacting without thinking, and when I get home I’m like: “Damn, I could’ve said this instead of that!”. Right?. Well here’s where step one is applicable, control what you can.
There are things you can control such as your actions, reactions, and words, and things you cannot control such as the weather, traffic, other people’s behavior, and what people think about us.
Considering it is something that you have control over, consider whether you need to do something about it. Most things simply don’t matter that much. If you can change something and it is something that matters to you, put your energy into it and do your best.
Step 2: Recognize why you’re trying to control something you cannot control.
Try identifying the feeling underneath the desire to control a situation or person that you cannot control. Are you experiencing anxiety? Are you concerned that things will not work out the way you want? Are you worried that you might lose someone’s love or respect? Think about what those thoughts are telling you and where they are coming from. Embrace your control issues like a dear friend. Pay attention to them and listen to them gently.
Step 3: Que cerá cerá “What will be, will be”.
To let go of control impulses, we have to live in the energy of “what will be, will be” at all times, especially beforehand––before the outcome. I know we’ve been in situations where you manifested something, pictured everything, and got so attached to the outcome sometimes we can lose sight of the bigger blessing as it arrives. By letting go of the outcome of how exactly your manifestation (big or small), you make way for or space for the bigger blessing that God has in store for you.
I describe this step as surrendering to the process of life. For many, the word surrender suggests giving up and thereby giving something away. Quite the opposite, surrender is the simple act of yielding to the flow of life rather than opposing it. It means refocusing your energy on what is within your control and letting go of what is not. It’s about acting and reacting in ways that support your growth when life unfolds in unexpected ways.
The ability to let go can help us overcome painful emotions such as disappointment, anger, and sadness. The essence of surrender is the ability to let go, the Universe is merciful and ultimately works in our favor (even when it might not feel like it and when we don’t understand how it works).
Step 4: Use affirmations
Several healers (including those who are working on themselves, their spirituality, and those who are working towards becoming healers) have been talking about affirmations as a way to re-align, find peace, and refocus. Affirmations are very powerful because, like meditation, they help us to remind ourselves of our goals. You can use them whenever you need to remind yourself of your decision to let go of the things you cannot control. Here are a few examples.
- “I am letting go of fear & worry and making space for something greater”
- “I let go of blockages I’ve created to keep me comfortable”
- “I exchange my shame and anger for self-love and self-compassion”
- “I receive new perspectives”
- “I attract positive vibes and opportunities”
- “I am grateful for the present moment”
- “I let go of all attachments to outcome”
Step 5: Take in the feeling of relief.
We are freer when we let go than when we try to control. I have been on a journey of self-discovery, which has many components, including the shadow-word, awakening, and letting go. Always remember to be kind to yourself and to look at the journey to self-discovery as a non-linear process. I am thankful that the universe has always guided me and is still doing so throughout my journey, and I have added books that have helped me let go more. Hope you enjoy them as well.
- Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy by Mo Gawdat
- The Power of Letting Go by John Purkiss
- Forgiving what you can’t forget by Lisa Terkeurst
- The Gift of Forgiveness by Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
I would like to know what you are experiencing in your journey, your affirmations (if you do not have any, start today <3), and what you think of these books because I liked them all and plan on reading them again. Looking forward to hearing from you. Sending love and peace. Besitos
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BKL’s Best Books & Journal collections
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz jr
This book continues the Toltec teachings from The Four Agreements but with a focus on our relationships with others which ultimately comes from a loving healthy relationship with ourselves.
When things fall apart by pema chodron
Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist Nun. She has many books that help you live daily life with spirituality.
a return to love by Marianne williamson
This book is Williamson’s take and teachings on The Course in Miracles. It looks at embracing love and eliminating fear to find yourself and God.
Thank you for this information, it’s giving me hope